our lives

atticus

blessing day

Tristan and Atticus

Tristan

Atticus

Life... I started back to work last week... Soo sooo sad, I had worked at Wells Fargo as a teller before I was put on "bed rest" 9 weeks into my pregnancy. Luckily my benefits covered me the entire pregnancy and when Devin lost his job at Wells Fargo in January and all the medical bills began to pile up my plans of being a stay at home mom changed. Unfortunately Tristan still has some lingering medical problems and we can not afford to be without benefits. I can't lie it is hard to walk out the door 4-5 days a week for several hours knowing my husband has worked all night and is tired or rely on one of our mothers to watch them, I know that they will be OK and the people taking care of them love them and that they are always well cared for. But when it comes to being a mother it really feels like no one could possibly do the same job that you do.. so it sucks.
They boys are growing like crazy! Tristan has finally reached six pounds which seems crazy for a 2 1/2 month old but when you start at 3.7 pounds its pretty excellent!! Atticus is also over 8 pounds.. it feels like every moment of their lives has flown past I wish I had a pause button!! Tristan had a dr. appt last week where he had a series of ultra sounds, and he has a pretty bad hernia and has some fluid in his right kidney, a hydroseal in his right testicle as well as some other plumbing problems he was born with that will require surgery when he is 8-12 months old. The hernia may be fixed at that that time or sooner depending on how bad it really is. The fluid in his kidney is from what the dr thinks is reflux, which means when he uriniates some of the urine is refluxing back into the kidney. The dr. said it did not look very serious if it was he would not be thriving, however it can cause greater chance of infection and could potentially damage his kidney if it gets any worse. They hydro seal is fluid trapped in the testicle/abdomen and should absolve on its own. Tristan will see a pediatric urologist here in town next Friday and they should be able to give us some time frame as to when the hernia needs to be fixed as well as his other issues, and they will run a test to see how much he is refluxing to determine how bad it is and if some intervention needs to take place.

The were also blessed this past Sunday it was wonderful!

That's pretty much it as far as our lives go.
oh and the boys are now sleeping 6-7 hours straight at night!

Picture Update

Life with the boys

So both of my boys are finally home!! Atticus was discharged Valentines day, it was wonderful to bring him home and just snuggle and hang out at home for a change instead of the hospital, it was also bitter sweet leaving Tristan behind, luckily he was able to come home only 2 days later on the 16th. Having just one baby home first was a nice little transition. Both of the boys have now been home two weeks and its crazy how fast the time has flown by. As much as I wish the boys could have come home with me right after they were born the three weeks they spent in the NICU were really beneficial for me as a new mother. The way the NICU is set up really caters to helping teach parents how to take care of your new baby, everything from CPR classes, to lactation specialists you name it I was taught so many valuable things while they were their that have made having two babies home so much easier. It was like having a three week trial run of being a mom, before I was on my own. Both of the boys are doing wonderful gaining weight and eating like little piglets, I spend most of my time nursing and have to say its such a special experience to share with my boys, although tandem nursing is more time effective, I prefer to do each one at a time, this gives me special one on one time with each of the boys that otherwise I would miss out on. They are so beautiful and sweet, and really are good babies. For having two babies at home I am surprised at the amount of sleep I am able to manage each day. I am able to get about six hours a night between feeding and burping them and a little nap during the day if I want so I really have nothing to complain about.

Because they are preemies I was told by several dr.'s not to take them out in public at all until RSV season is over so we have not been out and about and have been cautious about taking them around to show them off to family and such. We have had a few visits with family that were great, and it will be nice when they are a little bigger and this season is over and I don't have to hide out with them in my apartment. But for now keeping them healthy is much more important.

As far as personalities go they are both so different, Tristan is much more patient but has a little bit of a grumpy old man attitude at times its so hard not to laugh some times when he starts grunting and making his "angry" face this is probably horrible for me to say but he looks just like Uncle Arnold (Archie MacGregor) from how to lose a guy in 10 days when he gets upset, he even farts like Uncle Arnold too, so he has sort of earned himself the nick name. Atticus is much sassier and is not as patient, especially when he's hungry. They both are very fond of each other however, after months of them beating each other up while in my tummy I thought for sure they would come out punching and kicking, but this is NOT the case. Atticus will not sleep in his crib unless he sees Tristan laying next to him, Every time I lay him down he opens his eyes to peak and see if Tristan is there, more often than not once he as established Tristan is there he will fall right to sleep. I have them in the same crib right now and I put them on opposite ends but they gravitate towards each other and stretch their arms out to touch each other its the sweetest thing. I went in to check on them last night only to find Atticus holding in Tristan's pasfiar for him and their arms were inter locked, it was so cute. I am really taking in all these sweet moments before they get bigger and start beating on each other once more!

On a sad note, I must return to work... Its something I have gone back and forth with for a few months now and due to finances and the fact that our insurance is through my bank job I really have no choice. Luckily I will only have to work 2 or three days a week 20 hours max and Devin works nights so he will be with the boys during that time. Its sad but hopefully it will only be for a short time.

THEY ARE HERE

Tristan and Atticus Tristan had ripped out his feeding tube so he has a red mark on his cheek from the tape... poor little guy! first time after a week apart co-bedding

Tristan and Atticus snuggling in their bed

Tristan Atticus 2 weeks old already!!!

Baby Shower

Atticus first time he successfully breastfed 6 days old :)

So several weeks have now passed and I have quite a bit of catching up to do. First I just have to say thank you to everyone who came to my baby-shower!! So many people came and with not a lot of notice! We received tons a gifts and it was good to just be around so many good friends and family! thanks everyone!!

Friday the 21 Sonogram:

Well just like everything else in my pregnancy what happened at my sonogram I could never have predicted. Two weeks prior to this sonogram Tristan had taken a two week break from growing which put all my Dr's in a frenzy scheduling sonograms and C-sections, adding NST (non stress tests) to my already weekly slew of NST's and just putting me and everyone one else on edge about when these boys would be arriving. So this sonogram would be the determining factor of weather or not my Dr. would go through with my C-section the next day. Results??: Tristan measured a near 2 pound growth in just two short weeks.. Yes Shocking but it gets weirder Atticus was now showing no growth in the last two weeks... So after several Dr.s and Techs came in and re-scanned and re-checked the sonogram and realized it was not a mechanical error that the results really were the truth I really didn't know what to expect.. and I was thinking I'd probably get sent home for another two weeks. Fortunately my Dr. had mercy and after telling her I had already been showing signs of labor and unfortunately toxemia she decided that everyone had had enough of this "growth non growth" nonsense and it was just time to pull the plug.

D-or should I say C-day

So C-section was scheduled for 7:30 am.  meaning I had to be at the hospital by 5:00. So I set my alarm for four, I woke up went potty decided I still had time and laid back down and hit the snooze, before the alarm could even go off MY WATER BROKE... AT this point I have water gushing every wear and I'm telling Devin to hurry and get out of bed before he gets soaked (too late..)!! and he grabs me a towel I hobble to the bathroom completely drenched and sit on the toilet.. Where I start laughing hysterically because I honestly should have known this would happen! My mom comes in and is frantic (we had been staying at my parents house so my mom could help me while on bed rest) and she starts telling me to quit laughing and hurry because my contractions (which weren't really hurting at this point) were going to start hurting and fast! luckily Devin had packed the car the night before so I just changed my clothes and got in the car. My mom was right my contractions got harder and harder the whole way to the hospital and by the time I got their I fallowed Devin all the way up the Elevator to the third floor, when I had already been to Triage twice and knew it was right down the hall on the first floor!!! anyway luckily my nurses and the team that had originally been planing on me to come were already there and waiting for me. By the time the nurse checked me I was already to a four. Luckily it was wasn't long before I was on the OR table and my BEST FRIEND that whole morning (my anesthesiologist) was administering the drugs that was putting me into the most pleasant mood! Atticus was born at 6:01 and Tristan was born at 6:02!!

I had been preparing myself for this moment and this day for forever it seemed and nothing went the way I had planned it would (but what ever does in life right?) I had braced myself for the worst.. the babies would be taken straight to the NICU I wouldn't get to see them, I probably wouldn't see them till the next day... they probably would be on oxygen etc etc.. Well Atticus came out crying (best sound in the whole world) and Tristan didn't take to long to get started either. The nurse came and let me see both of them before they took them to the NICU. I also was able to go visit them in the NICU that very afternoon. Neither of them had to be on oxygen and they were just perfect Atticus was 5.1 and Tristan was 3.7

They are still in the NICU and doing really well they both off IVs and had to be under jaundice lights for only a few days. Atticus is nursing like a little piglet and is completely free of his feeding tube. Tristan has taken a little longer to catch on to breastfeeding but he is also a lot smaller so I cant expect him to do anything at the same rate as Atticus. The Dr. is already talking about kicking Atticus out of NICU but once he is out I will have to juggle trying to see Tristan in the NICU and have a baby at home.. So for now having them both in the NICU where I can sit with them all day and nurse them both and be with them both is the best thing. They have the best Dr's and nurses and they will try to get them going home at the same time but insurance may kick Atticus out since he really does not need to be their anymore. So we will see but for now I'm happy they are here, healthy and I get to be their mother:)

The End

Today is Sunday, usually Sunday is my favorite day of the week but for the over a month now I have been left behind as I watch my family,husband parents and siblings all leave for church without me, I have to say There have been plenty of compromises made in accommodation with this pregnancy and not attending church is the my least favorite however this is probably my last Sunday pregnant, and I can hardly even believe where all the time has gone?!! I am ready to have my body back and be able to have a little normalcy in my life again but at the same time I feel apprehensive and sad that I will no longer get to feel my sweet babies move inside my body all the time. Regardless of how many pounds I've gained (and no I'm not ashamed its a grand total of 70 just in case you were wondering) how many stretch marks have showed up (lost count a LONG time ago), or how uncomfortable or inconvenient things have become during my pregnancy I really have enjoyed being pregnant and truly wouldn't take back a single stretch mark or ache for any part of this incredible experience. Unfortunately since Tristan has stopped growing, my dr. has planned a C-seciton for this Saturday the 22nd feeling as though there really is not much else that can be gained if he were to stay in eutro. Fortunately Atticus continues to grow and develop and with any luck will not have too many problems being born prematurely at 34 weeks and 6 days. Its so surreal that this is my last week.. I do have a sonogram this Friday and if there have been any drastic changes for the better as far as Tristan goes than there is a chance that my c-section would be called off, but even knowing that I'm in my last few weeks is just so insane.. I don't know if its the apprehension of having not one but two babies or the unknowns of premature babies but either way I am not ready yet!!! Of course who ever is right?! My body has also started to show some signs that is almost done as well, I am swollen like a tick! its really quite comical but my blood pressure has gotten higher causing the swelling as well as some nasty migraines the past week, not to mention my belly has quite literally taken a nose dive... no longer can my muscles hold up my ever growing belly and it has dropped considerable and seems to be growing downward.. its really funny and I am sure I will look back on these pictures one day and die in laughter but even if I'm not ready, my body is getting ready so if not Saturday not too long after (really crossing my fingers not before!!) other than that things are going pretty well with the babies they have several test each week and continue to do very well.

On a very sad note a good friend I went to high school and church with passed away this Saturday. Shane Smith. He recently returned home from a full and faithful mission he served in Guatemala. Saturday he was involved in a hang gliding accident and was called back home to his Heavenly Father. Anyone who knew Shane can attest to how fun and positive he was. He was always doing something crazy weather it was hang gliding, cliff jumping, wake boarding, you name it there was nothing he wouldn't nor could not do exceptionally well. I feel very honored to to have been one of his friends and be apart of that zest for life he carried. One summer in particular he taught me how to wake board, took me on a couple of dates one of which involved him taking his fathers truck way up this mountain on a trail that was pretty much non existent and nearly crashing his dads truck (sorry brother Smith he probably never mentioned this to you) to get to the top of the trial. Once at at our destination he treated me to pizza on the very summit of this Cliff where you could see all the city lights. Shane was a great friend, a great brother, son, and a prime example of how to live life to the fullest. There is no doubt in my mind Heavenly Father had a greater plan for Shane and that his life on earth was short but complete. Until we meet agian Shane.

OH BABIES!!

So I have made it another week!! However just when I was starting to feel confident that bed rest was going to take me to my goal of at least 36 weeks I got some bad news. Most of the problems associated with babyB aka Tristan during this entire pregnancy are directly related his portion of the placenta. They have pretty much officially decided that they are in fact Identical twins and the placenta which looks like two placentas fused together as one just hasn't worked quite as well for baby B. This has been the main cause for multiple Dr. appts every week and the extensive and large amounts of sonograms I have had. I swear they have a separate filing cabinet just for me at the Dr.s office. Any way they have paid special attention to Tristan to make sure he is continuing to grow and all of that good stuff, although he has been quite a bit smaller the majority of the pregnancy he is a little fighter and faulty placenta aside has managed to make remarkable progress. Unfortunately today at my sonogram his luck had run out. His portion of the placenta just has reached capacity and can no longer sustain him enough to help him grow much further in utero. While baby A Atticus weighs in at about 4.6 pounds Tristan is only measuring at about 2.5... not good news especially when two weeks ago he was only a few ounces smaller. At this point my Dr.s are going to monitor me even more (crazy to think that is even possible at this point) and they have given me another round of steroid shots to help improve the babies lung growth and function. Its kind of a game of chance at this point; do we risk the health of Tristan to give Atticus a few more weeks to pack on some weight and have an easier time.. or do we risk a severely premature birth for both babies to get Tristan out and the nutrients and supplement he needs that he is no longer receiving from me... I have four Dr. appts next week all of which will involve a series of tests, if Tristan passes the tests and does not seem to be in stress they may wait it out another week or so if not during any one of my appts I could get wheeled down to L and D. Its been such a long journey and I really can't say that I am at all disappointed, at any time in the last 15 weeks since Tristan has started to show signs of problems my placenta could have just given out. I've made it clear to 32 weeks and 6 days without that happening, at this point yes it is still scary and yes there are still many risks involved but the odds are so much better now than they were even a week ago. That's pretty much it for now until next time... at which point I may be an official mother of two baby boys.. CRAZY!!!!

I'll Be Home for Christmas!!!

I'M HOME!!!!! so after two weeks in the hospital I was finally released the 23rd just in the nick of time for Christmas! My Dr. (who is awesome by the way) decided that if i made it to my thirtieth week and my cervix was relatively the same that she would let me go back to home bed rest. During my sonogram not only was my cervix longer but only one baby is breech and so I only have one pair of feet playing soccer with my cervix!! It was a long stay at the hospital but obviously beneficial and I'm now parked at my Mother Bendall's house were she will graciously take care of me until the babies come. I had a bit of a scare the day I was got home from the hospital, almost the minuet i walked through the door, I started to have contractions, now I've been having contractions for about 10 weeks now and these where not the same caliber. THEY HURT and they were coming every 3-5 minuets and lasted about 15 hours. Just my luck right? I sat in a hospital bed for two weeks with hardly any contractions (none worth mentioning at least) and boom I come home and go into labor!!! Luckily they did eventually stop and we are all just crossing our fingers (some of us our legs) and hoping these little boys can wait until at least January to make their grand appearance.

On a lighter note Christmas was wonderful!! my brother and his new wife of less than a week came and spent the night the two days up until Christmas and hung out, my mother baked like crazy lady and made soo much wonderful food I could die! We all sat and watched Christmas movies and had a wonderful time. Christmas really was so special this year I was home with all of my family and everyone was healthy and happy. It was probably one of if not the best Christmas ever. I love my family including all my in-laws and extended family and am so blessed to have so many wonderful and caring people in my life. I couldn't believe the amount of people who took time out of their busy schedules to come visit me and brought gifts to to me while I was in the hospital even during such a crazy time of year. I really could not ask for more.

Doxies and Coyotes

Audrey(red) Madison (black and brown)

Me and Devin bought two adorable puppies last year Audrey and Madison both mini dachshunds, when I was first pregnant I could not stomach the smell of them not that they were particularly stinky little girls but my hyper sensitive nose magnified their...Doggyness. So off to grandmas house they went (momma Laura). Their they have remained for the last 7 months. They I am sure have much enjoyed their stay in my parents grand back yard and with tons of love and moogies from all my siblings, however my parents live in the boonies and with that comes a certain collection of wild animals including but not limited to coyotes. Last spring a coyote jumped my parents fence and snatched up my childhood dog Lilly (a corgi dachshund mix) right out of her bed and tore her to shreds. Unfortunately she had to be put down due to the severity of her wounds. SO my parents were a little hesitant to bring my little rotten girlie's into their home but decided they would just make and extra effort to keep them safe such as bringing them in at night etc. They had been at my parents house a whole week before one busy morning during breakfast my 10 year old brother brooks decides to slip outside and play with the pooches. Unfortunately someone else had already joined them. The scene my brother encountered was one large coyote with one squirmy weeiner dog clutched between its teeth. Luckily Brooks screamed like a girl the moment he saw this and scared the coyote enough to drop its brunch and it ran off and jumped back over the fence. Fortunately for Audrey she only had an few puncture wounds and was happy as a clam shortly their after. Any who this strange coyote predicament has made it even harder for these little Doxie's to enjoy their simple little life, they can only be outside during the middle of the day when coyotes are no where to be found otherwise someone has to be with them at all times. So any who me and Devin all along figured as soon as we bought our own home would surly take the little girlie's back and all would be dandy, but we didn't expect to be having twins.. so we decided that they needed a new permanent home one that is not threatened by nasty coyotes, and we found just the one!! Brady (14 yr old brother) has a long time best friend named Max who lives in Sierra Vista and his mom happens to be a dachshund lover and has ever so willingly decided to take Maddie who will join her other doxie Ruby who is Maddie's twin just ten pounds bigger, and a co worker of hers happens to be coveting a red doxie and will be taking Audrey. It is bitter sweet to say bye to these cute little girls but I couldn't find better homes for them if I tried and when it comes to whats best for them.. I am not going to be able to provide that with two babies on my hip. So off my little doxies go to Sierra Vista to enjoy a new life!

"slapped on hospital bed rest"

Just a funny picture of me, my grandma Staples, my mother, and aunt Nina on Thanksgiving with candy wrappers on our teeth:)

"Slapped on hospital bed rest?" A quote from my last post.... and unfortunately the outcome of my last Dr. apt.

So I knew The time would come at some point during my pregnancy where I would be put on "bed rest" but I thought I would be able to avoid hospital bed rest!! But who am I joking this entire pregnancy has been full of surprises so I should not be in the least bit surprised.

So as I said a week ago at my last Dr. Apt my cervix were looking "short" bad news when your only 27 weeks prego because once the canal is gone... than its much harder to stop labor. SO I was diligent I sat on my rump all day long and laid like an invalid in my bed! I had soo many wonderful people come over and help me make my bed rest possible everyone from my mom to my mother in-law people in my ward you name it so I was legitimately following my bed rest orders, I had been told hospital bed rest was a possibility but I figured if I was really good I would be able to avoid it for at least a couple weeks. So any way I go in bright and early on Thursday morning for about the hundredth sonogram of this pregnancy, and I was in there a whole 2 min before I was hearing those dreaded words... "hospital bed rest" unfortunately both babies are breech and all FOUR feet are literally KICKING my cervix OUT! (not that that's the actual cause of my ever shortening cervix but lets just say it sure doesn't help!!). and my Dr. looks at the screen and then I ask, already knowing from the image on the screen "is it shorter??" any who at this point the only other option I had besides having babies ridiculously early is to get a non stop trip up to the fourth floor of the hospital where I will now remain until these babies arrive. I have to say I kept it together pretty well and haven't broke down and lost it yet but, its only day three so it could be a much different story in a couple of weeks when I'm about to lose my mind! As much as I don't want to be laying in a hospital bed, if this is what it takes to have healthy babies than Ill lay here as long as I have too. Fortunately I have awesome nurses and my situation could be so much worse, I'm not hooked up to any monitors or IVs or any of that garbage and I at least have bathroom and shower privileges. I also don't have people poking and prodding me every five minuets, they check the babies heartbeats twice a day check my vitals twice as well and pretty much just leave me be. So I cant complain, I could be strapped to fifty monitors, upside down and be on all kinds of drugs to stop labor that make you sick so at this point I'm defiantly not complaining. I also have the best support system ever, my husband has moved in and is here when ever he can be, and my mother comes and visits as often as she can which really helps pass the time, I have also had visits from my mother in law and my dad so Ive had some great company to make this experience even more bare able. I really am so lucky, how often does a woman find out she is having not one but two babies?? I just keep telling myself that this is all a blessing and I know that the outcome will forever outweigh the price it took to achieve it.

Holidays, Babies, Tis the Season!

I just have to start out by saying that I LOVE the Holidays! and they have already started off with a bang. Me and Devin are very fortunate to have both of our families live so close, which means we get to double dip on all the holidays. We started off at his parents house on Thanks Giving morning and had a great time hanging out with family and eating great food, than we drove an hour to Sierra Vista and had dinner at my Grandma and Grandpa Staples house and some more of my relatives. Food was incredible as always and it was so good to just be with our families. There is something extra special about being pregnant at the holidays that I really enjoyed . I have so much to be thankful for this year and am so happy with where life has taken me and my family.

Black Friday:

So me and Devin decided to take the Wal-Mart risk and show up at midnight when the doors opened to see if we could snag some good deals for Christmas this year... I don't think I have ever seen a more barbaric group of people all crammed together in one space, needless to say it wasn't worth it so we walked in got shoved around for a few minuets and went home! I did however make it to Joanns the next morning and scored some good deals online, and eventually got everything I was hoping to get with limited black Friday crazies intervening!

The Baby Update

had another sonogram this week and the babies are growing like weeds. I am now 27 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I can't even think where all the time has gone. Baby B the little guy having all the trouble is also looking good, his measurements have gone up substantially and he is nearly on track again. Baby A is as big as ever and running out of room to move around but still looking good. My last few sonograms the babies have been on top of each other, or facing down and we haven't been able to get many good facial shots, they were both on their best behavior yesterday and we got some really good facial shots, I can't help but think how stinking cute they I can't wait to hold them and squeeze them! Baby B also gave quite the performance and gave the first offically 100% acurate reveal of his little manhood and there is no more room for argument their! so he is indeed a boy and there will be no surprises at the delivery. As far as all the issues I explained last post here is where we are now, I went back and did enough blood work to provide 50 blood transfusions and they ran every test possible, and the results were really good, I am positive for CMV but it was so distant that my body is immune to the infection and they now believe that it will have no direct consequences to either baby!! So I think we are out of the woods on that one. They think the calcification s are little to no issue and that baby B will be as healthy as any other baby. A nice relief let me tell you!! Although everything looks great with the babies, it seems I can't leave and appointmet scott free gosh darn!!! I started having some pretty hard contractions on Sunday and continue to have pre term labor, during the sonogram the tech measured my cervix and they are quite thin... so we could be having babies much sooner than expected, I seem to be having contractions and labor issues that I am not even really aware of. So they gave me two rounds of steriods shots to help the babies lungs develope faster (these shots were HUGE) in my rump yesterday and today. They also monitored my contractions and the babies heartbeats for a while and without even knowing it I had 3 contractions right then and thier. So I am on indefinite bed rest. I can get up to go the bathroom and eat, nothing else is negotiable. But hey I'd much rather stick to the rules keep these babies cooking as long as possible and not get slapped on hospital bed rest. I knew this time would eventually come where my bed rest would get serious and I'm just glad I made it to 27 weeks. So Now i get to go in twice a week for stress testing and contraction monitoring, cervix checking you name it! Its a good thing I live 5 min from the Dr and hospital! My dr. says she would be overjoyed if I made it to 36 weeks which is only 8 weeks?~!!!! holy cow when did we get down to the single digits??!!! so we will probably have babies sometime in January.. so crazy!!

Special shout out to my mother who has already completely filled my kitchen with groceries and has been so helpful with trying to make this whole bed rest thing as easy as possible!! I don't know what I would do without that lady!! And also my mother in law who brought over some really yummy turkey soup!!! My husband has also stepped up to the plate and started doing the cleaning washing etc. that usually do. I am so blessed to have such wonderful people in my life!!