Born @ 12:44pm August 17th 2015
5.9lbs 18inches long
It's now been 48+ hours since we welcomed Portlynn into the world and I figured I should write some of this down before it leaves my mind!
I had my last prenatal appointment on the 12th where my doctor and I went over the delivery process. The baby has been transverse since 20 weeks and has remained that way clear until delivery, with the position of my placenta it was going to be necessary to cut through it in order to deliver baby. This would undoubtedly start some bleeding, effect the baby's oxygen supply prematurely and then it would be a mad dash to quickly get her out. Because of her position getting her out was going to be even trickier. My doctors words were "we will all be holding our breaths the first couple minutes and it will be a little scary!" EEEK not exactly what I wanted to hear.
This made me a little extra nervous the days leading up to delivery. Thankfully the night before I started feeling quite the little tap show of feet on my cervix meaning she was still breech but footling breech in a position much more ideal for quick delivery! (Just one of the many ways the Lord answered our prayers throughout this whole journey)
We got the kids ready Monday morning, left Grandma Washington in charge and then headed off to the hospital. To add to the the mornings excitement Devin had not gotten any sleep the night before because one of his buddies at work had gotten in a shooting (at St. Joes Hospital of all places) that very morning and he had raced down to the hospital to help detain the suspect. Quite the event!! Thankfully his fellow officer was OK but it was quite a scary situation.
We arrived to the hospital both delirious from lack of sleep and got checked in and my Wonderful MIL met us in the lobby. Having her there all morning was a great distraction and comfort the 2.5 hours before actual go time! I am so thankful that she was there for both Devin and I.
I was prepped with two lines instead of one, just incase extra blood needed to be transfused during delivery. I met with the anesthesiologist, and we talked about my c-section history and how getting sick is pretty much inevitable and I spend most of the time on the OR table throwing up and then the rest of the day doing so as well. I knew that I didn't handle morphine well and he said omitting it from my spinal block was actually an option. It would possibly help stifle some of that nausea but would mean more pain following surgery. I decided it was worth a shot. Around this time the stress leading up to this day and all my fears kind of hit me and I had a good sob session!! Sometimes you just need to cry a little and cry I sure did! Dr. Sherman was more than thrilled when I told her that the baby seemed to be feet down and we both agreed that this was a great indication that things were going to go well!
I eventually was on the OR table being prepped and had the best spinal placement ever. Besides the numbing shot I didn't feel anything but just a little pressure! To say my anesthesiologist was good at his job would be an understatement he totally changed my delivery experience for the better!
Unlike my last two deliveries the nausea didn't take hold right away it was a good 10 min before I needed any anti-nausea medicine and I was much more comfortable before the baby was delivered than I ever had been before. Devin finally came into the room, and about 10 mins after he arrived soft baby cries were filling the room. All of our nurses were so excited that the gender was a surprise! And one asked Devin to peek over so he could announce the big news to the room.
I'll be honest I was beyond convinced that this baby was going to be a boy! From the second that we found out we were expecting, I had this distinct impression that it was a boy. While we never saw anything to confirm yay or nay at our sonograms, each of our techs said something that led me or Devin to believe that it was indeed most likely a boy. The icing on the cake however was at my last prenatal appointment when my doctor asked: "what my plans for circumcision where" I laughed it off and reminded her we didn't know the sex, she played it off really well and we discussed it "in case it was necessary" and left it at that. But I left a little defeating trying not to read to far into the question.(defeated because I so desperately wanted this news to be a surprise not due to gender disappointment.)
Up until 3 days before delivery we had NO boy names picked out. This was totally stressing me out and when I told Devin what my doctor had asked we were finally able to buckle down and agree on a name. I specifically wanted names picked out before delivery because in an ideal situation Devin and I had discussed that he would tell me the gender by revealing the babies name to the room. I can't tell you how many times we both said there is just no way this baby is going to be a girl!
By the end of my pregnancy I was actually pretty upset and felt like our surprise wasn't even really a surprise because I felt like it had on several occasions been inadvertently given away, and I wondered why we even bothered trying to have a surprise when everyone was out to ruin it!! (Just a little mellow dramatic, I know ;). Now Back to delivery!
Devin peeks over the curtain and paused for a long time than he looked at me with this look I can only describe as complete and utter shock, pauses again and while shaking his head says "it's a Portlynn" I'm sure my mouth hung open about 10 feet before I just began to sob tears of pure happiness.
While I suspected this baby was a boy, deep down I really wanted a girl, and mostly a sister for Scarlett. I still keep pinching myself and a can't believe she is a SHE! She is certainly Scarlett's sister and has a head full of beautiful dark hair. Her features remind me a lot of Scarlett but her nose is much more like Atticus' (mine) and her mouth reminds me of his as well. After she was delivered Devin went back with her while I finished getting all sewn back together and not too shortly after Devin and the baby left, my doctor told me that my placenta had come away beautifully. At which point I cried some more happy tears knowing we had avoided a hysterectomy and everything had gone well!
I got sick around this point and tried really hard to lose my lunch with out success, and the anesthesiologist said after I was all done that my doctor could now probably operate on a wind tossed boat without a problem! (Dry heaving sucks!!) After that I was pretty uncomfortable and ready to be off the table but didn't have any nausea that was strong enough to push me over the edge into a heaving fit again.
Eventually Devin brought Portlynn back to the OR for me to see, until we were moved to recovery I wanted so badly to just stare at her and take her all in but I was concentrating pretty hard on just getting through the discomfort and couldn't focus on much more than just breathing in and out. In recovery I had a hard time getting set up high enough to be able to breast feed Portlynn without my blood pressure going up and the nausea returning.
I eventually just gave it a shot, but by that point Portlynn started to breath rapidly and I started to regain feeling and was in quite a bit of pain. My nurse somehow ended up being solo during all of this and was pretty frazzled! She called the NICU doctor down to evaluate Portlynn and kept administering more pain meds to get my pain under control. This was where the trade off of barfing/vs pain came into full effect by having eliminated the morphine during the spinal. But It was a much better trade off, I was totally coherent, instead of being in a loopy drug haze, I was much more myself and even though I was in pain the nausea was manageable and I felt like ME!! Which was not the case during/after my last 2 c-sections.
The NICU doctor came in and evaluated Portlynn and with some urgency took her back to be admitted into the NICU. Her heart rate/breathing was all over the place. I thankfully actually remember this and he confirmed she wasn't just going for a "short observation" but would be fully admitted. My heart sank a little because I had wanted to avoid this so bad but watching her I knew there was no way around it. And I wasn't feeling well enough to hold or take care of her at this point either so it helped take the pressure off me and I was able to rest a little. I hung out in the recovery room for several hours while my nurse tried really hard to get my pain to a tolerable level, I eventually just had to go to a room because it was at least bearable but not getting better no matter how much medicine was administered. Back in my room I started pumping and Devin and I just couldn't stop talking about how shocked and exited we were she was a girl! My poor mother in law had been left in the Lobby during this whole time which equated to several long hours and Devin and I refused to tell her the gender until we could see her reaction in person! When she walked in the door she was referring to the baby as "he" and I couldn't wait to tell her the exciting news. Seeing her face was priceless as I had confided in her how "sure I was this baby was a boy" and she could hardly believe it either. Devin was then able to take Cathy back to the NICU for the first time and get caught up to speed with where she was at.
She was given a nasal cannula of oxygen and an IV to replace actual feeding until she as stable enough to be fed. Having a baby in the NICU for the second time in many ways is easier than the first time since I know more or less what to expect and know that it will all be over before we know it. I too was able to visit her for the first time late that night and got to do some skin to skin and see her first bath. I had missed all the other babies baths so it was fun to not only be there but I was coherent enough to actually enjoy and remember the moment.
My recovery from this point on has been the best recovery by far! My pain was hard to manage the first 48 hours but well worth avoiding the side affects of the morphine. I am so thankful that the anesthesiologist listened to my concerns and actually gave me some alternative options that proved to make a massive difference for me and my entire delivery/recovery experience. He came by my room to check on me the following day and said that what he did only works for 1-10 with people so I'm glad he thought it was worth a try!
We are all still in the hospital my doctor extended my stay to 4 days to hopefully give Portlynn a better chance at being discharged with me. Unfortunately it looks like that won't be happening as she is just not quite ready to feed with out an NGtube. Once she is able to take all her feeds orally I'm sure it won't be long before we are gearing up to leave. It's a little depressing to walk down the halls of the couplet floor and see all the rooms now empty of mothers and their babies who delivered days after I did. I'm ready to go home but not without my baby. It's a strange thing to have a baby in the NICU and some things are easier the second go around but something's are just as bittersweet.
After all the "what if's" and "unknowns" of this pregnancy and delivery have now come to a close I am beyond grateful and blessed with the outcome of this entire journey. I have felt so uplifted by the prayers on our behalf and I know that our prayers have been answered and I am just so happy to be here, recovering and able to snuggle my sweet baby GIRL without the stress of the unknown weighing on my shoulders.
Each day we get a little closer to being home again as a family and I am just taking it one day at a time.
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